I am.

I started writing this post titled "I am." After I read it I realized that it was just a bunch of whining. Really I have nothing to be upset about. I've been feeling a lot of disappointed thoughts lately but really the only person who can change that is myself. So I am rewriting this post with a positive twist.

I am grateful for this home that we cannot completely remodel in one month. It is far too much work and money for it to be perfect. Our family makes it a home anyways, not the trim or the 80's ceiling fans. I'm learning to let go.

I am patiently waiting to see what my next career move is. I had two opportunities materialize and now they seem to be fading. I am trying to figure out what it all means and once again should I just be happy where I am. I dreamed that I would run companies and head marketing campaigns, I thought I would teach children and change lives...maybe the lives I'm changing are right here in this house. I am okay with that.

I am blessed beyond measure for my husband. I've been giving a lot of thought on our relationship and how we can sustain it for the next 50+ years. We are so good together, I don't want to ever lose sight of that.

I am ready for summer. To sleep in and stay up late. To smell the beach on my kids and wash their stinky feet covered in the adventures from our day. Everyone asks what I have my kids signed up for and the answer is gymnastics for Meg and golf for Bailey. That is it. I don't feel the need to fill our every hour with activities. We have fun together and there is always something to do. I am tired of feeling less because my kids aren't in every campplaysummerprogramsportartclassvbs available. They just want to be kids. The school year is filled with running, I think my kids could use some unwinding.

I am working on faith and church and friendships. I won't really talk about this more right now because I'm praying on a lot of things and I don't want outside influences. But I struggle sometimes and I thrive sometimes.

So that's me right now. I am going to unpack some boxes today. I'm not sure I can live like this anymore and I just need to dig in...so here I go!

ps This photo has nothing to do with this post and is just the last picture on my photostream...I love it. She is all pirate. She ran through town yelling "Don't steal the booty" and made a bunch of people laugh.